We hear it over and over again; stay positive, surround yourself with positive people, avoid negativity, don’t think negative thoughts, etcetera, etcetera. But these messages only ask us to avoid the negative thoughts and feelings. They don’t suggest the possibility to completely dissolve negativity as it comes up.
Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and one that has changed my life and my relationships. The main objective of this practice is the clearing of mental obstacles- a lot of which are based in negativity towards others- to find limitlessness freedom and reach a state of unbridled possibility in your life. To reach this state, one has to silently or verbally repeat the following mantra; “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you” in the face of negativity.
I taught this practice to a friend recently and she used this mantra but made the mistake of forgiving the object of her negativity rather than asking the source of her pain for forgiveness. Easy mistake. It’s a bit counterintuitive to ask the object of your rage for forgiveness when you’re not even at the point of being open to receiving theirs! The idea here is that we take 100% responsibility for our own actions but ALSO the actions of others. Wow. I think that deserves a pause…
There’s a funny phrase I like to use, which summarizes this notion very well, I think. “Have you ever noticed when there’s a problem, you’re there?” This idea reminds us that we are part any discord that shows up in our lives. To change whatever happens around us, we have to change within. Everything external is a projection of the inner reality. This is the position Dr. Hew Len takes. Dr. Hew Len is known for healing a mental institution full of patients not by seeing these patients and talking to them or treating them directly. Instead, he read their charts, sat with their pain and recited this mantra over and over again, clearing and dissolving the negativity surrounding each narrative, each person. Clearing errors in his own consciousness to ultimately clear the same errors for everyone else.
When you encounter negativity in your relationships with others, think of it as a shared program, like a computer virus running on both of your hard drives. Instead of your first response, which is knee-jerk, to distance and feel righteous in your defenses try the mantra. “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”
I use all or part of the mantra daily. The effects are profound. The power to dissolve negativity is unmatched. And it feels good. Try it. But be prepared for everything to change. For the better.
Watch a short interview with Dr. Hew Len below: